Recently, I have been struggling with my faith. Not that I have lost my faith, but with different aspects of it. Trying to separate the religion from the RELATIONSHIP, which sometimes is so hard to do. There is a song by Casting Crowns with a line that says "I'm not holding onto You, but You're holding on to me..." I love that line and it brings me such comfort, but I'm not sure it's quite accurate.
There is a story from when I was a little girl. I have a vague memory of it but know the story better than the memory. We had gone to the Ohio State Fair and I had kept wandering off, although I'm sure that mom and dad had repeatedly reminded me to stay with them. Well, at one point I had gotten far enough away that I couldn't see my parents. Unknown to me THEY could see me but I thought I was lost and they allowed me to feel that for a minute or so. This is the part that is a vague memory ~ the feeling of panic. It was a lesson that I am sure after I was "found" sunk in at least for the remainder of the day. It seems to me that THIS is the more accurate picture of how God deals with His children. He's not necessarily always holding our hands. He allows us to pull out of his hand and wander if he sees that the lesson will be better learned. He gives us warnings and reminders but then allows us to feel that sense of panic briefly if we don't heed them. This does not mean that he has abandoned us. Like my parents did at the fair ~ He also keeps us clearly in his sight, ready to rescue us at the first sign of danger. When we feel lost and panicky we need to not run with no direction. We need to stop and look around. Our Father is nearby ready for us to run back to Him, so He can direct and guide us. The Father ready to embrace the prodigal at the first sign of repentance.
What a wonderful Father we have! :o)
